Category Archives: Healing

Darkened silhouette image of woman sitting naked in the dark

A Love Affair, From A to Z: “Z” – Zenith

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The following is the final segment of "A Love Affair, From A to Z."
To start at the beginning of the poem, click here.
A LOVE AFFAIR, FROM A TO Z
by
Jade A. Waters

Zenith, their zenith
Is over and done.
Time has passed and healed her, somewhat
Though the hollow of her belly still
Fights, protests
Wanting their glory restored.
The truth is that theirs was the most beautiful love,
A precious, wonderful thing
That painted her existence in vibrant ways
She’d never imagined before.
Their love filled her soul with joy,
Just as it touched his face with the smiles and laughs he’d lost—
But this vision, their future
Is gone, its tragic ending something they have yet to fully comprehend;
It’s the story they both played into,
Loving as richly and fully as they could.
For now, they will need to find other means,
Some solace in the wreckage they’ve left behind.
And so she stares quietly over their desolate landscape,
Hearing echoes of a melody that once blared throughout a blooming world
As she clutches the tiniest morsel of hope
In her hand. For what, she isn’t sure yet,
But she knows he is out there, their love lingering forever in her heavy heart,
A crystalline memory she will hold
As long as she can.
She takes a breath, lifts her head
And, keeping her fingers wrapped tight around hope,
She sets out across this dusty expanse,
One foot, then the other
Once more.

Blurred image of a sexy pair kissing in the shower

A Love Affair, From A to Z: “U” – Under The Water

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The following is the next segment of "A Love Affair, From A to Z."
To start at the beginning of the poem, click here.
A LOVE AFFAIR, FROM A TO Z
by
Jade A. Waters

Under the water he leads her,
A shower to wash away the sweet smell of their love
As much as the tears that have escaped down her cheeks.
He swipes at them, pulls her close,
His heartbeat steady through the wall of his chest and
Communing with the wild pace of hers.
“I know you hurt. I know that’s how you look at things,
But I don’t. Just…”
He shuffles his feet until his hips are tighter to hers
And he stares at her with eyes she wants to drown in as he says,
“Kiss me.”
She loves it when he says this,
Loves the way he can almost make everything okay again
As if nothing else, beyond this moment
Matters when it comes to them.
So she’s quick to press her lips to his,
Letting his kiss sweep her up
His fingers stroking along her back
To draw her nearer, always nearer,
His wet skin on hers feels too good
Too sweet, and as the kiss speeds and deepens
And their breaths grow windy,
Both of them are pining
For one more fuck
One more hold
One more whisper of the love they share.

To read "V" — Vastness, click here.
Couple embracing in silhouette

Safe

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SAFE
by
Jade A. Waters

She found herself paralyzed
Sick with grief
And yet not sick at all,
All of it
None of it
Too much
Too little,
And so when he came to her
She was restless,
Her body tense, her mind aching,
Startled by those warm hands,
His warm hands
Sliding round her waist.

"I'm here," he said,
"Right here. Yours."
She held her breath
But deep inside, she knew—
He would free her lungs
When he pulled her closer,
Pressed his lips to hers
Tongue seeking, roaming, finding,
Reminding her of what was,
What could be,
What they were.
"I love you, you know," he said,
And when she said, "I do,"
The words were a whisper into
The wetness of his mouth,
A gasp against the clutch of his body.

The heat fired in her,
Finally,
Again,
As he peeled back the sides of her shirt
Kissed the edge of her jaw,
Trailed damp lips along her neck
And breathed her in,
Before he met her eyes.
"So much," he said. "And I want you now.
Come back to me."
His hands pulled away her shirt
Drifted over her breasts
Circling nipples that waxed, waned
Stood for him,
Before he drew his fingers to her waist
And carefully unfastened her jeans.

At this she sighed—
It was him, her love.
There was
No paralysis,
No grief;
He was the one who knew
How to rescue her time and again.
And when he dropped to his knees
Burying his mouth against the heat
That rose between her thighs—
She tilted back her head,
And moaned it all away

For good.

*

Overexposed image of butterfly on a branch in a field of grass

Butterfly

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BUTTERFLY
by
Jade A. Waters

Just because I smile
Doesn’t mean I’m not broken
Doesn’t mean
I’m not soft on the inside
Not a butterfly in a vicious wind
Fluttering, struggling, but keeping afloat,
Flashing my colors
Setting my course
Not a victim in this crime.

But all the same—
Just because I am a victim
Doesn’t mean I am weak
Doesn’t mean I’m not a voice
Doesn’t mean that I will cave,
That I will be silenced
Or stand here
In this tornado
As a soft, malleable thing
Shaken by your wind.

I will fight

I have fought

I am the voiceless
And the vocal one
The lost, and
The found
I have felt pain
I have felt hurt
I’ve been broken into pieces
So tiny
I didn’t even realize I was me,
And I will not stand for it
Ever again.
I will be your butterfly—
Smiling
Proud,
My wings swaying in this torrid wind,
But I will not be deterred
I will not be caught
I will not fold

I am free.

B/W image of nude woman from side

Aurora

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AURORA
by
Jade A. Waters

I wonder how long I'll write about you
It's not that I love you anymore
But you've seeped in somehow
Made yourself part of my being for a lifetime.
We were this thing
This magic
Like the thicket that grew round Aurora's palace
Thorny vines weaving their spell
Around a complicated love
Filled with discovery and lust
But tortured all the same.
I wouldn't do it differently
And yet I feel sometimes
This residual spark inside
Too hot to the touch
Too good
Too dangerous
And filled with the memory
Of how I almost lost myself with you,
Could have forgotten who I really was
Because it was so easy
When I was with you.

Don't worry
I'm not pining.
I'm more into
Knowing I won’t be lost
Inside a love that was so good
But filled with jagged edges, too
I'm sure that if I ever ran into you again
And you laid it on like you do—
That voice of yours
Those eyes that stared right into me
Those hands that touched like
They knew every pore and wanted
To live as part of me forever—
Yes, I know I'd smile and walk away
Because I have to
No matter how long I might pause to consider you, that,
Us
Addiction is addiction
You were my addiction
And as much as I long and burn
For what that felt like
I can't lose myself again.

So I guess that's why,
Sometimes,
I write about you
I write about us
I write about those feelings that
Woke parts of me so long sleeping
High up in that palace.
It's because that
Was a story made for reading
So many times over,
But fairy tales aren't meant
For real life,
They aren't meant to continue.
They're meant to be savored, cherished,
Remembered,
But inevitably
They're meant to be closed, shelved,
And thought of on occasion
Putting a smile on the lips
And a patter in the heart
Before real life continues on
Without them.

*

B/W image of topless woman (back view) in man's lap

Because of the Way He Held Me

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BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE HELD ME
by
Jade A. Waters

Two silhouettes in a room
Filled with smoke, voices loud
He came to me, cornered me
Whispered, “Won’t you come with me?”
His arm twining round my waist, pulling me close
And I did, knowing for certain
It would be because of the way he held me.

Our dance began—magnificent, tremendous,
Two rushing rivers of lust,
Two colliding powers of desperate force.
When he stared into my eyes, I saw everything—
The world, the stars, the secrets to our souls.
It was all wrong
It was so right
But it was because of the way he held me.

Together, we moved
Hips joined, breaths one
A fire so deep the earth trembled, rolled, split open
A tsunami of sensation crashing over him, over me
Over us.
We were the tide, controlling rivers, lakes, and oceans,
We were the universe
All because of the way he held me.

In the dark of the night, we lingered close
His words more whispers, his fingers tracing swirls
Over the tender spread of my hips—
“Because you’re mine,” he’d say.
And I would cave, succumb
And feel
Making wrong a broken word I didn’t understand
Because this was right
And all because of the way he held me.

Now, the wash of memory sweeps across a distant shore
But his hands are still on me, his lips still near
The brand of a lifetime
So deep in these pores.
And I know it will be this way,
A long, long while
Because of the way he held me.

*

Sexy back of a woman

What You See

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WHAT YOU SEE
by
Jade A. Waters

There is a girl
Beautiful, broken, bruised, smiling
She is all of these things
She’s got a history
You can never fathom
Though you try.
She’s moved mountains
Swum oceans
Run miles
Through thorns and rocky terrain
That
From the looks of her
You’d never imagine she could have faced.
What you see
When you look at her
Is the beautiful
And the smiling;
You don’t see the black and blue
That’s forever imprinted on her soul
You don’t see the scars
On her heart
Or all the battles she’s won.
You only see the beauty, the afterglow
The radiance she’s worked so hard to keep
Despite the scratches running the length
Of each of her veins
Marring her for an eternity.
She doesn’t flash them often—
She doesn’t need to, doesn’t want to
Because she’s earned these smiles
She’s stolen back this beautiful heart
She’s claimed a lifetime of looking forward
After what was.
But sometimes, when you look at her,
You tell her what you see
Like it’s all there is
And anything she could share with you
Is trivial and mundane,
Petty figments of her imagination
That couldn’t possibly be
Because how could a girl
Who looks like this
Have experienced that?

I hear you
I really do
It’s hard to believe something that ugly
So many things that ugly
Could have happened to one single soul,
But the truth of the matter is
They have.
So
Before you tell me it can’t be that bad
Tell me I’m lovely and happy
I’m lucky
And so it could never have happened
That way
For me,
I want you to look at me
Really look at me,
See the beauty, sure, but see the bruises
And the marks deep inside, too
Please.
I ask of you.
I’ve earned them
I’ve fought through them
They are who I am, part of me, always me
My right to feel and have
Not whatever it is you keep telling me
That you see.
That?
She’s a different girl
Who isn’t
And never was
Me.

*